Other people’s opinions
I am going to ask you a question.
How highly do you rate other people’s opinions about you, about your dreams, or everything in between?
Are you someone that seeks out validation from others?
I know I have. And this is why it stopped me from doing what I wanted.
Firstly, it made me doubt my own opinions.
If I wanted to do something, go somewhere, create something, and asked the opinion of someone else and it went against what I thought...it would bring up self-doubt and often fear.
And we are all very aware of what those two emotions do to our action...it usually kills it.
Secondly, it stopped me from creating new ideas. I was afraid that everything I thought to do was stupid, not the right way, or a waste of time, which had me what Brooke Castillo says, failing in advance.
And lastly, I became used to seeking out the opinion of others for validation...which meant I was not valuing my own opinion.
And so, I have made some changes.
I no longer ask for opinions.
I am happy to discuss, but not seek validation.
I have made the decision that my opinion matters most because, well...I am the only one living my life.
The perfect example of this is my recent move to the Gold Coast.
Sorry, Mum...I am using you as an example!
Joel and I had good jobs back on the hill and a lovely home and live well. But we wanted to move. We like the GC lifestyle and had plenty of reasons to make the move.
My Mum was completely freaked out...her fear and scarcity were very evident. She would voice her opinion in a nice way that we should stay, the grass isn’t always greener and that we both had good jobs and were secure and there was no need to move...because you can always take a holiday.
If I was in a place that others' opinions mattered and that I could not go against, I would stay. I would stay and not live the life I want. I would stay and be resentful, scared, and frustrated. But my opinion matters the most to me now. So I am going. I am also creating, building, and choosing the life I want. No one else’s opinion is necessary.
Now, I know, people love to offer opinions about everything.
We as humans love to tell others what we should and should not do...it seems to be in our DNA. I bet you can explain to me plenty of times when you have received an unwanted opinion and it left you feeling shitty…
So, there are two parts to this.
Do you want to quit seeking the opinions of others to make decisions for your life?
Do you want to be able to handle any opinion that is thrown your way?
I have the solution to both. It is managing your mind. This is what I do in my coaching practice. I teach you to show up for yourself, back yourself 100%, and do the things that matter to you...negative feelings and all. I am putting it out there that it is possible and with my guidance, you can get to that place where the only opinion that matters is your own.