How you think about yourself is the single most important thing to analyse when starting any self-development journey. It is something that cannot be ignored.
Ever wonder why you never completed a goal you set yourself? I bet it has to do with how you see yourself and what you tell yourself to be true.
I once upon a time was so critical of myself.
Growing up I was pretty shy. People told me I was because I was quiet, very nervous, and shy, I believed it to be true. So the more I told myself I was shy, the more I believed it to be just who I was and embodied that title.
My biggest fear was speaking in public. I knew I was terrible (after all I was shy remember?) and therefore I decided to just not do it and risk finding more proof. So I stayed small and quiet.
But then something changed later in life. I found out that we can choose how we think! It sounds simple, but for me, it was groundbreaking news. No longer did I feel I had to be a certain way...I could choose! Mike drop!!
I told myself…Of course, I can speak in front of people. I am a human, I have a voice, I know how to speak. I realised that all these years of telling myself I could not do it became a self-fulfilling prophecy. So what I believed to be true about myself, showed in my results in life.
I wanted to figure out what exactly I was thinking of myself that was stopping me. So I started to ask questions.
It sort of went like this.
What is stopping me?
Fear.
Why am I afraid?
I do not want to make a fool of myself. I sweat, I go red, I fumble my words...I might not have anything interesting to say.
Why don’t I want to make a fool of myself?
Because I care about what people think of me.
Why do I care what people think about me?
Because I want to be liked.
Why do I want to be liked?
So I can have proof that I am a good person.
BINGO!
See how that went down?
I did not want to do the hard thing of public speaking because I might be found out that I am not such a good person. WOW. I realised that it is so not true. It also made me realise that I thought being nervous, sweating, and going red made me a less worthy human being. I believed that amazing speakers and people, don’t go red!
Can you see how what I am thinking about myself internally is having a huge impact on my life?
This is so interesting. Essentially I believed that I am only a good person if others thought so too.
But on the flip side to this, it meant that I would not do what I really wanted in life because I might be found out to be a fraud. It makes no sense. So did that mean I was thinking poorly of myself? Hell yes! Did that mean I was hiding out in a life I liked but did not love? Hell yes!
Now I can say absolutely that I like me. Yes, I still get nervous. I still sweat and go red, but I know this does not make me any less worthy than someone who doesn’t. It just makes me human. I have chosen to change my thoughts about myself because if I don’t do it, no one else will.
Since then my life has gotten more fun, more interesting and I am more passionate than ever. The once restless, irritated Prue is a person of the past and I can honestly say I am creating my dream life.
So take a moment and consider this. How is what you are thinking about yourself affecting your life?