Today I want to talk with you about Regret.
Regret can prevent you from moving forward and keep you from being the person you want to be.
Regret is an emotion we feel when we think thoughts such as;
“I should have done xyz.”
I shouldn't have said abc.”
“I wish I did 123”
And so on.
It is past focused thinking and we tend to wallow there and indulge in the emotion.
And let’s be honest, it feels pretty icky!
I have felt regret a lot when juggling being a Mum and working. It is a common scenario.
I felt regretful when I said I was going to do something with the kids and didn't follow through.
I felt regret when I didn’t visit my grandparents as often before their passing.
I have felt regret when I didn’t keep in contact with amazing people.
Regret is personal.
The biggest lesson I want you take away form today is this;
Regret only ever comes from your thinking and NOT the circumstance.
Read that again!
This means, I only feel regret when I think thoughts like;
I should have spent more time with the kids.
I should have visited my grandparents more.
I wish I’d kept in contact with my friends.
You can see a theme here right?
Now, you might think it is not a choice. But, it is.
We get to choose what we think!
So, how do we apply this?
Here are some helpful tips to get you out of regret and into a more positive, rewarding feeling.
Notice when you feel regret. Discover where it sits in your body and figure out what you are thinking about when you feel it.
Write it all down. Get it out of your head and onto paper.
Now with a highlighter, highlight all the actual facts in the sentences you wrote down. They are the actual circumstances. The rest are just your thoughts. How do we know they are facts, well, everyone would agree on them.
Now the fun part, ask yourself the question; If I had my time over again, what would I do differently? Write it all down.
This final step allows you to change how you react/act in the future. The past is done and we cannot change it, but we can learn from our past and use it to grow.
If you regretted not spending time with someone...maybe you can reverse engineer the feeling in advance and use it to push you into taking action in the present moment.
I love this concept.
If you don’t want to feel regret in the future, activate it in your body to help you make sound decisions. Use it to spark you into action.
Make sure you don’t stop there.
Stay aware. Stay responsible for your thoughts.
I hope this helps.
Your eternal optimist,
Prue
P.S If you found this helpful and think it is time to stop regretting putting yourself first, join my 8-week group coaching program. It is the perfect start to acing your health and wellness goals.
Check it out here:
http://head-coach.com.au/group-coaching