I am going to make this simple. You are the only one that can love you. Do not outsource your love to anyone else. You will be disappointed. Self-love to me is loving all the bits about you you might not even like. You might want to improve certain things about your behaviour, your reactive response, your physical appearance...but when you have self-love, you go about it from a place of love. You don’t need these things to love yourself...you love yourself already and want more for your life. We deserve the best from our lives. It is OK to want more. It is ok to strive for something different than you have. When you are doing it from love, not from a place of "should"...then you are doing it right. How do you know? It is the internal language you use in your daily life. I shouldn’t eat that food.. I am not allowed to have that. I should be doing XYZ at the gym. You are 'shoulding' all over yourself as Tony Robbins says. If you feel this is you. I am going to ask you to step out of the emotion of guilt and self-disgust by first realising this is what you are feeling...these are common feelings when thinking this way and intentionally choose to step into compassion, understanding, and love. See how your body feels. What comes up in your thoughts? Spend time here. I am still a work in progress but for someone who once hated their body to now loving and accepting all of it, bumps and all, I know it works. Let’s take a breath and discover what self love can do for your life. Don’t be in a rush.
Just be.